Is modern life making you rage-clean the kitchen? Are life’s little inconveniences the final straw? Have you had enough of influencers, hipsters & strange food in cafes?
Well The Snarkarellas is the podcast for you. We specialise in first-world gripes & petty is our specialty.
What’s On Your List today? We are the Cinderellas of Snark.
Is modern life making you rage Clean the kitchen? Ask the Snarkarellas for advice .
They are the Cinderellas of snark .Hello and welcome to Snarkarellas .
Do you feel like you're not being heard ? Do you feel as though something is getting your knickers in a twist ? Yes . Or is something really pissing you off ?
Well , this is the podcast for you .Hi , I'm Snark and welcome to the Snarkarella podcast . Hi , I'm Rella and it's so lovely to have you here with us . We're still on our retreat . And it's day two . And what a beautiful day it is .
Now we are the Cinderellas of snark . And each episode we ask you what is on your list . The shit list ? Yes . You all need one .Oh , actually , if you want one , we have a pdf that you can print out at home .
So just come to a Facebook page and ask or send us a message and we'll make sure you can have one totally free , beautiful .
And what a great way to capture all of those things that are really getting your knickers in a twist . But there's a benefit I find it makes me laugh . I find it's really therapeutic . So it's a great way to , I guess , bring you some joy out of something that may not feel like it's joy .
Exactly .Well , I am in a foul mood today . Well , Snark , Yes . You have woken up on the wrong side of the retreat bed - fucking birds . And not just the birds . But I think Stark did enjoy a lot of liquid last night and was up and down a fair bit having to , you know , release the liquid . You could say release the leak .Good yes , fight released the hose . That's hilarious .
Well , so I woke up this morning and I realised my cottontail bloomers that I bought 30% off because I forgot my underwear for the retreat . It was wet and had morning dew on it .Yes , a lot of morning dew and in fact , that when I was out on the deck , I did use your bloomers to give the table of white down and get rid of some of that morning .
Do so where they at the moment I've hung them out the back . Okay , there , just on the railing .So the farmer who owns this place, can see them while he's doing farming things . Agriculture . Well ,
Do you know what ? What a lovely way to enjoy your Sunday by eyeing a pair of bloomers . We'll guess what? Well , nothing . I think his life is complete .Now I have a complaint . These girls made me walk out in nature. And what a beautiful part of the world it was.
So Snark has bought herself a pair of spanking beautiful new boots in the lovely shade of peach . That's why they were cheap , $100 off.And so snark has to walk them in because she is going away on a fantastic trip . And so we thought , What better way to sort of break them in ? Get a bit of fresh air is to go for a tramp through the barley fields through the sun sun and down to the creek .Yes , the creek still had water in it.
Can you believe it ? And for what ? The farmer was saying that it hadn't flowed for two years . Wow ! And now it's got a little bit of water in it because they did have 90 millimetres of rain , which is what the farmer told me .You've been having too good chats with .Look , I know everything . Do you ? Yeah , yeah . Anything we really haven't talked about is the stench .You are . I really can't bring myself to.Yes , in the afternoon for about three PM onwards. I don't know if the wind changes , but the two days we've been here you get the odour . You basically know what time it is by the aroma . So hash tag on the list to the pile of manure.So the truth has been absolutely beautiful . You know , it's given us a chance to sit down and chat , unwind , relax , bitch . Moan and whine while drinking one. Yes .So we made Aperol Spritz yesterday with a bit of help. I asked Michelle to go and get it . And for the love of God , I can't think of Villa chewer parole every spritz .There you go . You answered your own question . And not only they don't have to say that your master class on how to create your cocktail It went viral .Well , yes , it's on the Snarkarella Facebook page . I'm putting myself on the list for gross incompetence of lives .Can I just say if you haven't seen it yet ? You really need Teo in particular . The 1st 10 seconds , I would have it peaks very early . This video and the 1st 10 seconds are pure physical comedy . And it was lucky that I wasn't saying anything bitchy because accident the press record on.Do you know what ? It's something that would happen to it . Something that another person on Facebook would .D'oh ! Yeah , that says a lot . I am not great . And before we started doing this podcast , I used to practise doing lives . I'm just not great . I'm not good at it .Look , I disagree . You are great . Look , you are my favourite live Facebook video .Really ? Yes . I am your fan girl because you never know what to expect . And you are bloody funny . And it's you're just You're really And I think that's what people What ?People don't want rehearsed videos .Millennials ? Not not necessarily lives , maybe YouTube . Yeah , but I think the Facebook life gives you the thrill of this is happening now . Anything could go wrong . And when it does , it's even better .Yes , and the angle I used wasn't flattering , but there was no other way of really doing it . No , Unless I made you guys like shoot from above . All the time . Look , we might need to invest in some camera equipment .You reckon ,look , I don't even know what it's called. Iraq or something that hold the? Tripod!Yeah , that's it . Tripod . Okay , Now , someone complained last week and we forgot to mention it about message places that are actually tens of iniquity or for ladies of the nights who frequent bordellos was known brothels .Now this friend of mine , she really needed a massage . And she found one for $55 for 90 minutes . No , for an hour . So she watches thinking , I can't go there . It's near her work . And when she was driving home at one in the morning , that's weird . There's a lot of activity .Don't know if I can go there . So she looked up a yelp . Reviews anyone say No , no , they can like trip adviser for businesses . It's not that big in Australia , but she looked it up , and someone complaint . Hey went there , and he thought it was like a proper massage place . But when he went to lie down , there wasn't a tower , anything covering the mouth and head hole . It was just a dirty old shape with a hole cut in it . Oh , not even stitched up with an over locker to sort of hide there . The tear marks at the sheikh was just cut . Yep . Okay . With scissors .So way don't have a problem with brothels ? No , not at all . Because I think they do offer a valuable service . Exactly . I But I do have a problem with half asked . Hygiene . Yeah , I agree . I think if you need Teo , I think perhaps keep the place is separate . Look , I don't think you need to run 23 businesses massage parlour . That is an actual massage place and a brothel like you even very separate . Although in Bali it's hard to tell . Plus plus jiggy . Oh , did you have that when you went to Bali ? Not not saying Did you count the digi ? But did you go into a massage parlour that ended up being I could have , but I didn't know . I don't know , but wait to have a massage . And I walked in a room and I saw a shower in the room and I did a quick 1 80 out of there . My husband , of course , was one was room room just causing a bigger rockets . Like , for once . Just followed .My poor husband are bad him out a bit on the last one in this one , either . Good guy . So we got out of there because it wass well say as well you mentioned that you did a quick 1 80 That is an example Off you're 6 47 maths being used in everyday life . There we go . There you go , kids . You do use math . Actually , if there's a kid on here , don't listen . It's not your not one interest you It won't . Okay , so that is on this . I think that's important . It happened to my friend ate freak as well in Melbourne one night . But she said it was break E at the end . It didn't bother her . Yeah , fair enough . I guess you become a bit not used to it . But you get over it , perhaps ?Well , if it's really good massage . Well , that's right . So that was on the list from last time . How are we going with our most recent one ? Well , okay , so we have given people a lot of time to really air their grievances and no speak about the problems because , you know , we have been up here at Citarella retreat for two days , so we've really only given people 12 hours . So we've got some things on there , but I think we need to give people a bit more time to get some stuff on the left . But we do have some stuff such as one called The Sun on the list . Do you know how I suffer ? So we grow up in Let's Go , which , according to statistics , is the coldest place in Australia . I can't handle the sun , and the older I get , the more he's my fan . I'm founding now . Everyone . I've got a peri menopause of fan . I hate summer . I think my sleep gets disturbed . An Eight Creek . I just mentioned a CZ well , she is absolutely not a fan of it . And she's been posting stuff , even though she grew up in popular Guinea . Is that weird ? But I've seen her several times get heat stroke there at the cricket once , so she's just put something on her page today when your English and you go outside , it's not raining . And then there's a picture of like a classical painting and it says it burns . The bright demon has returned .It's on its way . Thanks . Eat . Look . Sunstroke . So I remember when I was first stating my husband and I was trying Teo , be impressive . And then you are Well , okay . Thank you , but be a little bit more impressive trying to correct the impression that I was thiss fit , carefree up for it . Woman of nature . And one of the things that we decided to do was go for a not a hike , because the hike is something that you do through the mountains or whatever . It was more of a walk where we walked through the city out to the beat and then walked along and explored all the beaches through new counsel . But you could do off a big , long walk . It's called the Coastal walk . My daughter is doing it to sport . Okay , so I did the coastal walk , and I can't recipe the disaster . I have got Brickley white skin . I had no water , had no sunscreen , and I had no hat on . What time of the is this ? It would have been maybe just before summer . So end of spring . So you getting your hot days . It wasn't . It was hot . I had shorts and t shirt on and I was , you know , Okay , 15 minutes into it , I was thinking it was a bad idea . And I just had to keep going.I had to keep going because I didn't want Oh , I don't . Not that I don't want to show weakness . I just wanted Teo create that . Couldn't pressure her . Understand that . And look , I ended up flat on my back for two days afterwards . Off vomiting . Yeah , it wass he wouldn't mind and said , Look , do you mind me ? Turn around . Go on , have a B . Well , that's it . I don't know .I don't know why it was just that that lack of communication that you have very early on in a relationship when you're dating you sort of do exactly what you did . So you're vomiting . You're lying down for two day . We've burnt to a simmer to a cinder . Yeah , I was a fraud woman . So you've learned your lesson . Now , look , I've learnt my lesson . So that was here . An example of the sun . But you know , you fell in love with me . Did he help you tend to you . Didn't you live downstairs ? Apartment one ? So you're different . The sun and what else is on the list is my Monday in life , not mine . But I could I could equally relate to this .But it is my mundane life . So that feeling off things that is fucking boring . Yeah , well , you know , I think life advice from me I think you need something to look forward to . It might be a mani pedi . Might be even a chocolate purse , aunt , but I find forgot something in the future to look forward to . But this is really broken up the mundane Aly off our lives away e I have been feeling exactly the same way . I have been feeling a CZ though goto work . Come home , sort this kid's school bag out and put him to bed . We wake up , we do it all over again . Even the weekends will Monday washing grocery shopping , cleaning the fucking half , picking up towels , picking up town like it was just And then before I knew it , six months had gone and not yet agree . So I have actually been focusing on this particular that feeling of not having that purpose and something to broke it up . And what I've done is I've booked into and I did one last weekend . I booked into something just two hours just for a bit of fun . Flower arranging class or workshop . So when I know , I know it was great . It was therapeutic because I had this all these Bunches of flowers and I could create , like , this big grand spray of flowers . Oh , like art . Actually , that sounds all right . And it was beautiful . So I've done that . The next thing I've booked into is a pottery class . Are you doing podcasting for nudists ? I locked you in . I am . Look , I can't make that day eyes a couple of things I need to do beforehand . One is get the lawn Morad on the old calories . And yet But I have been trying to find a cup , not something that takes up a whole heap of time and commitment because I can't take on board something that requires me to go to the same time every weight , blah , blah , blah . But there's just like a one off course .He's one ofthe fun seeing something that I've thought it'd be fun to try . but I've never done it , so I've Yeah , and I think that you're right . It's something you need to have that you can look forward to . And it doesn't have to be something grand . Like a big trip or something . No , just something that breaks that cycle of every day . Monday . Well , I'm really getting into . I quit therapy for the middle . Yes , you are . Actually , nothing . I'm trying to visualise it . Do you have a cap ? No , I don't . Because the pool's not that . And you shall have pigtail Paul's not that deep . Okay , so I was picturing like a nice cap with a little frill around . It's sort of like in 19 forties set of movies , old world movies where they would do like , synchronised swimming scenes . Yes , stuff like big epic hair . Gonna knows people , you know , You say 19 forties . Most of the people in the pool were born in 1943 years younger . E walk like a penguin . Her co . So perhaps it's not for the middle aged . You're the only middle aged on there . Oh , no , I've seen another die . And then I've seen younger people , but they're more I think nd iess cases . They do it for their physical therapy and stuff . But look , we all sort of the look I can think of just once where someone's violated the rules off the pool . They started swimming laps . It's not a lap pool . It's You walk up and down like it's a hydrotherapy pool . You don't lap in that . No , but it's only happened once , and I've been going for about six months . Is there a sign that says no lapse allowed ? No , I just decided . Yeah , but the thing is , you get in everyone's way . You D'oh ! I haven't seen her since , so I think she was an intel . Opa . Yeah , okay . No idea of what protocol is . Yeah , I'm really funny . Like even the pool . The local pool . You know , we've got three laps . You Khun swim laps in ? Yep . Why ? You just wanna moving around ? You constantly Look . Do you feel better ? You got no . Also , some people are intimidated by Blaine's , but there's usually no one there because we've got a beach admittedly with no sand . But it's usually you've got a lot of space . And why don't they have to get in my space as I'm walking across the pool in back because you would almost have to stop and give way . Yet that's what I have to go say . That's difficult . It's like one of those intersections where you've got the four way stops on on and you get to it and no one knows who's giving way to who and people stop , start , and then you've got the person who just bulldoze a straight through . Yeah , there's no reason for that on the problem is our local pool is connected to the caravan park , so they just walk along to use the pool , and they're just getting in the way and enjoying themselves on the list on the list . Yeah , I think there needs to be some sort off , perhaps set of rules . I think they've got them in pools in Sydney . Yeah , they have to because they would actually be laying rage . Yeah , they would . And that burial thing . So I used to swim when I lived in Randwick at the University of New South Wales . How's this for a First World complaint ? Someone complained that the lap pool was warm , so But they replied , I remember it was up on a feedback stand there wasn't a suggestion box that was put in know they put the feedback . Oh , look , I can't recall , but it was on like one of those you know , the newspaper . I can't think what I mean . He's always let a thing like all the easel so we could all see it as we're walking past Beautiful . And I thought , that's hilarious , that someone's complained about the lap pool being too warm . That's it . That and that's a true with first well , problem . And they're the sort of things that we want to hear from you . Now another one . My friend Barry from B'elanna Hey , works in the hospitality industry . And he was telling me about a place where they shut at eight o'clock , right ? It's like a castle . Yeah , but if you go in at 802 apparently the waitress says , No coffee . No , Kate . What ? Two . Now I can understand , right ? Like no coffee if you clean the machine by the state . Usually already sliced up in a place That's right , she probably only have to just get him out , get a plate , slice it up . And then he went back to the same place . And after about an hour . They went up mass for their meals , and the girl forgot to put two big tables , both of them their orders in . So everyone waited like an hour and 1/2 for their food , and they were angry . Face book reviews . Yeah , like you don't when it comes to food . And when it comes to , you know , there's nothing worse than sitting there and waiting for your meal , and then you get up only to find that it hasn't even been put through to the kitchen . So , Barry , thank you for letting us know about that modern dilemma . That is a true example of a modern dilemma . We're concerned now . Some other things that have been interesting . So are they having a browse through the Google machine ? Oh , and I've been looking at first world problems , and I've There are some great first world problems out there . All they are One of my favourites is I've got a paper cut on my iPad finger and I'm finding it really painful to scroll . I actually think that is a good one . It is a good one . Do you have an iPad thing that is that your left is it your eyes ? One . Okay , just feed the listeners . They're mice , not raising her right hand . She's pointing out her point , a finger on her right head , and she was wiggling it to indicate that's how I pad thing . And in fact , she scrolling now as we speak well , there's first World dilemmas here that on Twitter . Now there's this woman has taken a photo off pretty nice looking manicure . Look at that colour red , that is beautiful . But unfortunately , her hands air now so soft she can't take her airports out of their case . That is hard . And the airport's like Another first problem with Airpods is when you lose one of them . Yes , like Okay , I like to put mine on of a night time because I like to listen to Snow Guerrillas podcast again , again and again , You know , in a couple of other podcasts late at night . And one of the things that I have to do is fall asleep , not listening to snark umbrellas , but perhaps another one e I like tio drift off to sleep on DH . If I roll , it might fall out of my ear and I can't find it again . And it is so annoying . That's bad . Well , my daughter got airpods . They're missing in action on DH . She looked at my new fancy had finds the other day . And I don't know . No way Airports aren't cheap . No . Oh , don't start getting my apologies about Teo . She just did a shudder . So , you know , we'll stop talking about the airports and one of the other things that I loved reading when it comes to first world problems . And this is something that I think this needs to bay investigated this issue unexpected item in the bagging area range for Have you ever gotten rageful over that ? Yes . Oh , but then I feel really sorry for the staff who have to work there , I reckon . Look , I worked in retail for a long time when I was going through university , and I always did Christmas shifts on , you know , when you hear Christmas carols over and over and over again . And it would be like an e word , I reckon . This phrase unexpected item in the bagging area , it would be something that they would take home and would not be able to get out of their head like it too . am yet be hearing it . You'd be brushing it , Tio . You'd be hearing it . I really have . You guys can not on the list people on motorbikes . So I have made quite an effort to soundproof this room . And if you want to see the visual , I think there is a photograph . Is that yes , there is on the page , but yeah , that Harley Davidsons . Because we're a row that people like to ride motorbikes on . On the least , it is like a weekend of thing where you have people who like to ride their bikes going along this country winding road . And the house that we're staying at is near the road . So there you go . Not yourself for next retreat . Okay , So another thing as well is having to you the tin opener when you've got a can that has no ring pull . Do you know when I go shopping , I will pick a product yet ? I will put it back on the shelf . If it doesn't have a ring pull , I'll pick a product that does . And Okay , One reason is I was form with left being attended . Yeah , okay . And I struggle to open it . Can with the tin opener because they're designed for right , a right handed world on the left handed person . I'm just a girl . Left handedness . Very well . Just wanting to someone to love me . Well , that is a problem . I think that should go on the least . Yeah , it is really difficult . And look , it doesn't stop it . Tin openers . I'm talking about scissors off a fuck sight . Look , I don't think hell listeners can hear the motor blacks . Well , I think that's an aeroplane . No , that's a motorbike . Okay , You want to stop swearing about noises they can't like ? Yeah , I just need to perhaps get stuff to come down in some way because she's probably better throw everything right outside and get on that road . Well , cut people off their bikes . Is there a past ? No , I just like sitting here being lazy and bitching about it . There could now be a good one from Twitter . You know , your microwave , his middle class when it has its own keen wire sitting . Oh , my God . Yes . As you did debate with your husband for a while . Ke Noah , You know , that's how he says it . Could everyone let us now like if that I'm right or he's wrong , it's keen are just ask Peter . It's when we lived in Sydney . Hey is to call kid a pied and he wouldn't believe may like I get Why though . Yes . Hey , wouldn't believe these have been hired with So I ended up just going along with it . And then he realised it was today and he wasn't very happy with what I call it Peter . I don't know whether it could be pied We could be wrong . It could be yes , could bay now . Someone couldn't find a curve so far . Well , someone that I've got here . Their first problem is ah , wardrobe full of clothes , but nothing to wear . Yes , I think I think we can all relate to that one . Definitely . And what about when you're emoji ? Doesn't look like you . Yes , that's a real problem , that is . And I think there's a lot of time spent on searching for the perfect emoji . Do you have some favourites that you have but emerges that you use all the time ? Because I did notice the last post there . You really got into the emoji use . I was impressed All that's because it was put on Instagram . Yes . So I used that . People don't have to read my hash tags that just housekeeping . Look , I one of those you Facebook emoji . It doesn't really look like me . You can't really tell . But I find a lot of the time I used the screaming Emoji , Yes , rolling my eyes emoji and rolling on the floor , laughing there , the way I used like that one . I'm the one that's like a faces like little hands coming out the side . That's cute . And the glasses , the glasses . Yes , yes . And the surprised expression ? Yes . Now he's one for you . I'm pretty confident I will be home from dinner before 8 30 because I'm basically an 86 year old woman at this point . Look , you did really well this weekend . We stayed up , we had a beautiful fire . Well , actually , though I'm a bit annoyed that there was a little bit of appreciation for it . But there wasn't like I was expecting at least every half hour for the people that I put so much work and effort into building and creating this piece of flammable art to at least say Bloody hell that is a gryphon . Excellent fire explores jeans . I feel warm or God , I'm so relaxed or Oh , my God . That is the best fighter . Not none of that , You know , basically , I'm excused . May I ? Video ? Did I put her on Facebook and Instagram ? Okay , Vera . Millennial . You'd appreciate that . Look , And I think alike . Just needed was a bit of , you know , just for people love to atleast just try and , you know , give me the pros . That was deserved because I put a lot of love into that . Yeah , but anyway , it's nothing but ashes today . Ashes to ashes , dust to dust . We will remember the fire . Good . I hope so . But it was beautiful . How relaxing weather . It was absolutely beautiful . Now , what have you got on anything hideous coming up ? Nothing too hideous other than the 9 to 5 grind . But other than that , I thought I might Okay , Nothing coming up . Hideous . But I've got something hideous in my socks . My feet haven't bean spring ified yet . Okay ? What ? You need to do advice with me . You need to get that . He'll softening bomb first from Priceline . Yeah , okay . And it's the tone owes , and it's the herto Oh , that's nothing . And I need you . I need some serious work done . So that's something . Here's that I've got to deal with at some point because I really need to get the old summer feet now . Okay , What I got coming up , that's hideous . Well , things are looking good at the moment because I've got a car that's actually driveable are fantastic . So you know , things are looking good for May . Now I just want Teo remind everyone to come to our Facebook page . I put a request in . You can join us for more snow guerrillas . And don't forget we're on . I choose SPOTIFY radio public and a few that I haven't even put my name's downfall . You could say it's viral , viral , viral , viral viral , so just subscribe . That would be great and leave a comment and or review . That's what it's called and you can see it's on Instagram . This is something hideous . I've got coming up . I've got to start our YouTube channel . It's laborious , okay ? And things start upload when they meant to upload all first world dramas , I'm rubbing my eyes already feeling stressed about it . Does anyone have a millennial I could borrow . Yeah . Look , they're probably very busy . Yeah , possibly . But I think a cz well , keep adding your first for problems to the least , and they can be big . They could be grant . They could be large scale or they can be small and insignificant . They're my favourite there . You are all equally valid , and we'd love to hear them , but I like to take it a step further . A swell . Letting us know what's on the list is great . But I think we would have great value by helping people out looking . When you've got a question for us or something , you want us to solve or investigate . It's more so if you need some advice on some stuff . We have got lots of advice trapped inside us that he's waiting to be freed . Yes , 45 years of living . That's right . Look , we can give you advice . We can give you help . We can give you suggestions . So please as well let us know what's on your list , but equally as well . If there's anything that you need help with , let us know we'll investigate . But we really appreciate you taking the time . Like Tio , it's just half a now , er , but it is a big honour being able . Teo , enter . We'll hopefully we're entertaining . Hopefully they don't like hate . Listen , what do you know ? I think if they've listened so far at this point in the podcast , they're entertained . I think if they weren't , they would have switched it off ages ago . So thank you . And for all your feedback , voting on polls , looking for outrageous things , comments and also some of the great photos that you're sending through . So thank you . And you get in touch . We consent to your own pdf offshoot Leased S O . Thank you . We're about to leave the retreat . Hit the road , and we'll be back soon .